I didn’t think about today in advance. I didn’t dread it weeks ago. Today just came and the loneliness came with it.
Today shouldn’t matter. I shouldn’t feel foolish or heartbroken. I should be fine and breathing normally again.
But the thing I’ve learned the most in the past 365 days is that I don’t give my heart out in pieces. I don’t love in part. I am all in, completely devoted, and entirely vulnerable.
As desperately as I have tried to hide that part of myself, I have never succeeded.
So tonight I am simply taking a deep breath and letting my Abba sing over my soul.
I’ll fall asleep trusting that His plans are far better than mine.
Cause no one knows you better than me,
And no one’s been a better friend…
So rock-a-bye baby come and rest,
You’ve been tired lately lay your head down,
Don’t you think baby, I know best?
I’ve been a Father for a long time now.